Fighting the Awkward Stage

1/30/2018

The hardest part about growing your hair out is that awkward in-between stage. It's not quite short, not quite long, and seems to hit your shoulders in a weird way that makes it look frumpy. I've changed the length of my hair several times in my life. When I finally decided to grow it out before having my son, here are 5 things I did to help me resist the urge to chop it.

Accept that short hair looks different from long hair.
This seems obvious, but believe it or not, this is easy to forget when you try to grow out your hair. If you have always been used to short hair, long hair will feel weird at fist. Some common things I hear from my clients are "It just doesn't have any shape" "It needs more of a style" "It feels blah" "It has no volume". Sound familiar? Give it some time. You will get used to it being longer and soon realize that it's just the difference between short and long hair that you have to get used to. Don't mistake this for the desire to cut it off.

Curl it.
When I grew my hair out, I curled it when it was in the awkward stage. Curls will add more volume and disguise any awkward layers. If you are tempted to cut it off, try wearing it curly for a while to see if that helps.

Get it shaped.
Growing your hair out doesn't mean you should stop getting it cut. I recommend going in every 8 weeks just to have it "shaped". This will keep the length but also keep the layers fresh. Sometimes layers can grow out to different lengths, making your hair difficult to style. Getting it shaped while you grow it out will help you feel like you still have an actual style, not just a grown out haircut.

Put it up.
I also put my hair up a lot when I was trying to grow it out. The awkward stage is usually right when your hair starts hitting your shoulders, which is finally long enough to pin it up if you want to. Experiment with different ponytails, simple updos and braids. The variety will help you enjoy your hair more.

Switch up the color or cut bangs.
If you need variety but don't want to cut it off, switch up the color or cut some bangs. Bangs are a great way to give you a completely new look without taking off length. As for color, avoid anything too drastic so you don't end up damaging it and ruining your progress. Sometimes a little change with the color is all you need.

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This is such a relatable take on something that sounds simple—but is surprisingly emotional: growing your hair out.

That “in-between stage” you describe is real, and honestly, it’s where most people give up. Not because they don’t want long hair, but because they don’t recognize themselves in the process. It’s less about the hair itself and more about identity—how we’re used to seeing ourselves and how uncomfortable it feels when that image shifts.

What really stands out in your advice is the mindset behind it. Accepting that long hair behaves differently than short hair is such an important point. A lot of frustration comes from expecting your hair to act the same way it always has—same volume, same structure, same ease. But longer hair has its own rhythm, and learning to work *with* it instead of against it is a turning point.

Your tip about curling is especially practical. Texture can completely change how hair falls and moves, and it gives you a sense of control during a phase that often feels a bit chaotic. It’s almost like giving your hair a temporary personality while it figures out what it’s becoming.

I also really appreciate the reminder that “growing it out” doesn’t mean abandoning maintenance. That’s a common misconception. People think they need to avoid scissors altogether, when in reality, strategic shaping is what keeps the process looking intentional rather than accidental. It’s the difference between “I’m growing my hair” and “I just stopped cutting it.”

Putting it up is another underrated survival strategy. There’s something empowering about realizing your hair has finally reached a length where you can play with it. Ponytails, messy buns, braids—they’re not just practical, they’re milestones. Each new style becomes a small reward for sticking it out.

And the idea of switching up color or adding bangs touches on something deeper: the need for change without starting over. When you’re in a long transition, you still want to feel fresh and expressive. Small changes can satisfy that urge without undoing your progress.

Stepping back, what your post really highlights is patience—not just with hair, but with transformation in general. Growth rarely looks polished while it’s happening. There’s always a phase where things feel awkward, undefined, or even a little frustrating.

But if you can stay committed through that stage, you eventually arrive at something that feels worth it—not just because of how it looks, but because you didn’t give up halfway through.

And maybe that’s why so many people remember the “grow-out phase” so vividly. It’s not just about hair—it’s about learning to be comfortable in the process of becoming something new.

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4/1/2026 08:43:26 am

Growing your hair out really is a test of patience—and not just the kind that has to do with appearance, but the kind that challenges your habits and expectations.

What you’ve described so well is that awkward middle phase where your hair doesn’t cooperate with either identity. It won’t behave like your short style anymore, but it hasn’t quite earned the benefits of long hair yet either. That “in-between” feeling is what makes people reach for the scissors.

What’s helpful about your approach is that it shifts the focus from frustration to strategy. Instead of seeing this stage as something to endure, you’re offering ways to work with it. That mindset alone can make a huge difference.

The idea of accepting the differences between short and long hair is bigger than it sounds. A lot of dissatisfaction comes from trying to force your hair into something it’s no longer meant to be. Letting go of that expectation opens the door to appreciating what your hair *can* do at its current length.

Your suggestions also highlight something important: you don’t have to feel stuck while you’re growing your hair. Adding curls, experimenting with updos, or even changing your color gives you a sense of control. It turns the process into something creative rather than restrictive.

Keeping up with shaping trims is another key point. It’s easy to assume that growth means leaving your hair completely alone, but that often leads to unevenness and more frustration. A little maintenance along the way keeps things looking intentional and helps you stay committed to the end goal.

What really comes through in all of this is that growing your hair out isn’t just about waiting—it’s about adapting. Each stage asks you to adjust how you style, think about, and relate to your hair.

And once you make that shift, the “awkward phase” doesn’t feel quite so awkward anymore—it just feels like part of the process.

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Fighting the Awkward Stage

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